DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother's last years were fairly hectic. He was sick with cancer and unfortunately passed about a week ago. He was married for many years, but as he became ill, his wife left him for a new man. He passed, surrounded by loved ones, but his wife broke her vows by not staying with him in sickness. Now that he has passed, she reached out to the family asking if she could attend the funeral.
My brother's estranged wife wants to right her wrongs now, but there are some strong feelings against her in my family. I would like to deny her request, but know it may be morally corrupt to deny her this opportunity for closure. The funeral is in a week. Should I allow her to come to the funeral? -- Slighted Brother, Des Moines, Iowa
DEAR SLIGHTED BROTHER: Have a family meeting to discuss this. It's understandable that some members would not want her at the funeral. What she did was hurtful and seemingly very selfish. And yet it was their business. If the family can forgive her and allow her to come to the service, let her know. If allowed, she should not bring the other man. If the decision is no, tell her that the family asked for her to respect them by not attending. Be a united front.