DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to a new neighborhood. I had very close ties with my neighbors before moving, so I am a little surprised that my new neighbors are not as friendly. In this new neighborhood, the houses are farther apart, and some even have gated driveways. This is not what I was used to before relocating.
I have tried going next door and across the street, but have gotten confused and cold responses. Could it be me? Is this just where I live now? I am sad to have lost my neighborly relations. -- Cold Shoulders, Charlotte, North Carolina
DEAR COLD SHOULDERS: State Farm recently conducted a survey to take the temperature of neighbors across the country, essentially to learn what constitutes a good neighbor today. Interestingly, most of the participants said that they want to be personally welcomed when they move into a neighborhood, while those very same people often did not enjoy the favor of their neighbors when they moved. Expectations are high, but follow-through seems to be lacking.
My takeaway is that if you want to cultivate relationships with your neighbors, you cannot give up on your efforts. Consider hosting a holiday gathering for neighbors, inviting the families who live near you. Make a festive invitation and see what happens. The Good Neighbor survey said that most neighbors welcome a neighborhood gathering but just don't get around to organizing it. Bringing people to you may be the secret to unlocking some of those gates. Good luck!