DEAR HARRIETTE: On Halloween, I was shocked to see one of my friends wearing an offensive Native American costume. She was wearing a short beige dress and covered herself with blood. She claims that she was Pocahontas and a vampire just happened to put blood on her. The historical implications made my stomach churn. I am not a Native American, but I believe it is important to always wear appropriate costumes. Now that the holiday is over, I have been debating bringing up her offensive costume or letting it go in the hope she doesn't do this again. -- Totally Wrong, Brooklyn, New York
DEAR TOTALLY WRONG: Halloween is a strange holiday that brings out the extremes in people. Obviously, this includes your friend. If you feel so strongly that you want to point out your friend's stereotypical choice, go for it. I want you to be clear, though, that the nature of Halloween costumes is extremity. When people creatively amplify their costumes, it is often to further extremity. If you believe that your friend crossed a line, approach her about it. But make the moment a conversation about values more than one about Halloween costumes.