DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is getting married in September 2017. The couple has created a crowdfunding campaign that would allow their friends and family to help them raise money for their wedding. I am happy that my buddy is getting married, and I have no problem purchasing a gift for the couple; however, I think they have pushed the envelope really far with this request. I made the recommendation that they should have a private ceremony at the justice of the peace and hold the celebration at a later date. Do you think my friends should have made this request, or do you think they should wait until they have saved enough money to pay for the wedding themselves? -- Let's Wait a While, Memphis, Tennessee
DEAR LET'S WAIT A WHILE: The rules of wedding planning have changed dramatically. In days gone by, weddings were paid for by the bride's family, while the rehearsal dinner and sometimes the wine and spirits at the reception were covered by the groom's family. Today, many couples are marrying well after they have become independent. In turn, many of them are paying for their own weddings.
The caveat is that weddings are typically very expensive. In recent years, all kinds of creative approaches have become popular for funding the wedding and the honeymoon. For example, many couples have registries where you can pay for a dinner or a kayaking trip on a honeymoon. In light of such things, a crowdfunding campaign to pay for a wedding is all part of the new way that these events occur. I'm not a fan, but I do see the trend. You can make up your own mind as to whether you want to participate. No rule says you have to give to that cause. You can remain old-school and simply buy them a gift. Just do your best not to pass judgment on their choices. It is their wedding.