DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband of 11 years passed away four years ago. I loved him dearly, and I never thought I could love again. I've been a single mom since, and I recently started seeing a co-worker. A few dates turned into a serious relationship. I can see myself with him for a long time. My 15-year-old daughter doesn't agree. My current boyfriend and she don't get along, mainly because my daughter refuses to be cordial with him. She sees our relationship as disrespectful to her dad, even though he's deceased. She feels as though if her dad was my soul mate, I shouldn't be with anyone else. Many times, publicly and privately, she's expressed these feelings about my boyfriend to me and others. Although he makes me happy, I've decided to take a break from my boyfriend in order to stop my daughter from acting out. How do I get my daughter to see that my boyfriend doesn't want to replace her dad? How do I help my daughter adjust? I love both of them dearly; I don't want to have to choose. -- Daughter Issues, West Hartford, Connecticut
DEAR DAUGHTER ISSUES: Rather than pausing your relationship, get some counseling. Your daughter is at a vulnerable time in her development. You can both benefit from professional counseling to deal with your grief and to learn healthy steps to move on with your lives. Include your boyfriend in counseling after the two of you get to solid ground.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)