DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter was invited to a sleepover with a friend from her school. I let her go, and they seemed to have fun, but she came home exhausted the next day. It turns out the girls stayed up half the night playing video games, talking and laughing -- or so she reported. I want my daughter to enjoy herself, but this seems extreme. Am I off base in thinking this? My daughter is 12. I haven't let her go to other people's homes very much, so I'm not sure what to expect. The girl's mother acted like it wasn't a big deal, but I am furious that she didn't give them boundaries. -- Out of Control, Syracuse, New York
DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: While not a good habit for a normal night, it is absolutely common for children to stay up late and indulge in fun activities, including the use of screens and even junk food, during sleepovers. Is this ideal? No. But I don't think you should make a big deal of it. Your child is learning how to be with friends, and this is part of the process. Expect sleepovers to be energy drains, and do not schedule important activities the morning after such events.
You may want to host sleepovers at your home, as well. In this way, you can introduce healthy foods and activities. Even then, be sure not to get too involved. Give your daughter space to explore friendship safely.