DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt and uncle have been separated for years. She was a less-than-perfect spouse, and she now lives with the man with whom she cheated on my uncle. During my aunt's vacation with her boyfriend, my cousin confided to her father that things are not looking good between his ex-wife and her new beau. They have been fighting nonstop, even on vacation. Since my uncle and aunt were never divorced, just separated, my aunt will most likely move back into her old house with their children -- and my uncle. She has access to good lawyers and has the right to live in the house, and she does not care about my uncle's feelings.
I don't know what to do about family events going forward. Even though they will probably be living under the same roof soon, there will be feelings of resentment. But they are still technically married, so I am not sure if taking the high road consists of inviting her and pretending the past two years have not happened. What do I do? -- Family Fumbles, Detroit
DEAR FAMILY FUMBLES: Since your cousin confided in you and you want to protect your uncle, consider suggesting that he secure a lawyer to protect himself. There could be a chance that he can keep your aunt from moving back in based on adultery. All you can do is suggest this to him, and then leave it up to him to take action.
As it relates to the future, follow your uncle's lead. You can ask him what he would like for you to do as it relates to your aunt. What happens between your aunt and uncle is their business, so you shouldn't get too involved.