DEAR HARRIETTE: As my daughter is becoming a preteen, she has recently started to lament her weight. I have not addressed body image directly with her. She will be entering middle school next year and is a dancer. I do not want her to quit doing what she loves because she feels insecure, and gaining some weight before having a growth spurt is common in my family. I would like to know how to approach this topic with her. How do I bring up body image with my preteen daughter? -- Plump Preteen, Chicago
DEAR PLUMP PRETEEN: I believe in talking about everything with children in an age-appropriate manner. When you choose not to discuss a sensitive topic, know that this does not mean that your child isn't thinking about it. Body image and weight are huge topics for females in particular, often for much of our lives. At the preteen age, so many hormonal changes occur that it is true that many growing girls gain weight as their bodies take on new contours. Talk to your daughter about the changes occurring in her body, about what you and other family members were like at her age. If you believe your daughter could practice better eating habits, talk about that as well, and consider joining her on a healthy eating journey.
As far as dance is concerned, that is a field that is extremely judgmental of the female form. Often dance classes and companies are strict about dancers being extremely lean. If your daughter does not fall into that category, you may want to consider putting her in a different class or school that is friendlier to fuller figures. If your daughter is serious about dance and willing to make her body the strongest instrument it can be, however, then you may want to encourage her to stay where she is. A perfect example of one who doesn't have a classic dancer's body but who has risen to great success is the principal ballerina for the American Ballet Theater, Misty Copeland. She is muscular and much curvier than a typical dancer, and she has defied all odds to reach the top of her field anyway. Get inspired by reading her memoir, "Life in Motion: An Unlikely Ballerina."