DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is an alcoholic. She has gotten worse recently, to the point that I think she is putting herself and her teenage child in danger. Whenever I have talked to her about it, she just blows me off. She says it's none of my business. I hate seeing her like this, and I worry about her son, who is like a godchild to me. I want to help but don't know what to do. Her other family members are worried, too. How can we help her? -- Friend in Crisis, Savannah, Georgia
DEAR FRIEND IN CRISIS: Talk to the other family members about staging an intervention. Sometimes when a group of loved ones approaches the person in crisis together, a message gets through. You may want to write down your thoughts and feelings and literally read them to her at a meeting that you invite her to attend. This way you ensure that you get all of your points out even though it will likely be a very emotional exchange. Suggest that she go to rehab to get help. Decide together on someone who may be able to watch her son while she gets the help she needs.
If she refuses to get help, a family member may want to demand that the child go with one of them until she gets her life in order. If she is unwilling to allow that either, you may need to involve the law. A minor deserves to be in a safe and healthy environment. If this boy's mother is in the throes of alcoholism and making poor decisions that may affect his life, he needs to be separated from her -- at least until she gets it together.