DEAR HARRIETTE: A boy in my nephew's class came to school wearing the same clothes two days in a row. My nephew was the ringleader in bad-mouthing the kid. When my nephew came home and told his dad, my brother told him that he should be more sensitive. Who knows why the boy wore the same clothes. Something could have happened. My brother told me that he doesn't believe that the message got through. I want to help teach my nephew how to have better manners. What can I do? -- Brian, Gallup, New Mexico
DEAR BRIAN: Your nephew participated in bullying, a practice that is reaching epidemic proportions in our culture right now. With your brother's permission, you can talk to your nephew about how to treat people. Sometimes this works well when you paint a picture of a scene where someone is being mistreated. Ask him how he would feel if someone treated him in that way. Talk to your nephew about tolerance and about how to actively practice kindness when engaging with others.
Once you get him talking, ask him directly about the situation in which he bad-mouthed the boy. Ask him why he thinks the boy wore the same clothes. Ask him how he would feel if his classmates had taunted him. Encourage him to think positively about others and to resist leading or joining a crowd of kids who are treating anyone in a mean way.