DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for about one year now. We first met during freshman year of college but started dating our senior year. We now live together, and both have good jobs in Atlanta.
She asked could she go with her girlfriends to New York for NBA All-Star Weekend. Although I had some doubts, I convinced myself that it would be OK because I trust her. However, when she got back, things seemed a little backward with her. So I began to ask about her experience, and she acted as if everything was fine. Looking at some of her Instagram photographs, I noticed she had met a lot of celebrities, but I knew that would be the norm for that type of weekend. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think my girlfriend may have cheated on me while in New York. Any thoughts? -- Questioning Her Actions, Atlanta
DEAR QUESTIONING HER ACTIONS: Face to face, confront your girlfriend about your suspicions. Stay calm as you talk. Tell her that ever since she returned from All-Star Weekend, something has been off in her behavior. Ask her what happened that affected her. Give her a chance to talk. If it seems like she is hedging or lying, ask her point blank if she cheated on you. Tell her you hope it isn't true, but that her behavior suggests otherwise.
Ultimately, you two are going to have to talk this out. Discuss the boundaries in your relationship. You are both young and may want to have other experiences over time. Do not make assumptions. Talk about your values and desires. Agree on what you will do in the future if either of you decides you want to see someone else.