DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm new to this whole idea of going out after work for drinks with groups of people. It's fun, but I don't know the rules. What is the etiquette when you are at a bar and you want to be nice and buy several people a round of drinks? When the bartender asks for your card, do you have to leave the tab open? I've seen that backfire on people when folks got to drinking, and they rang up a huge tab that the cardholder had to pay. I don't want to do that, but I do want to be generous. Can I pay for one round and close out my tab without seeming cheap? -- One Round, Baltimore
DEAR ONE ROUND: Going out in groups is fraught with challenge, especially around who pays for what. Invariably, somebody pays less than everybody else, and others feel they are always carrying the weight.
As it relates to buying drinks for people, you have a great idea. You absolutely can buy one round of drinks. To do so, tell the bartender specifically which people's drinks you are paying for, have the people place their order and then pay. Ask the bartender to close your tab, which requires returning your credit card and you signing the bill.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)