DEAR HARRIETTE: I attended dinner and a silent auction for a charity and got involved in a silly bidding war. The money goes to charity, so I do not mind how much was spent, but at the end of the day, the bidding war was over a fresh box of gourmet cookies. I know my opponent through friends, and we were not sitting at the same table at the dinner. As I kept checking on my bids, I noticed that it was just the two of us bidding. I thought this was a silly, fun encounter, because she was drawing little angry faces next to my name on the sheet. I got the last bid in -- don't worry, it was not some absurd lump of money for cookies! -- and she was visibly upset when I walked up to claim them. I did not know she was taking this event so seriously; maybe she is very competitive, but I won the auction fairly. A few others picked up on this exchange between us and asked me what I was going to do when I see her again. An apology for this really isn't necessary, right? -- Fair and Square, Rochester, New York
DEAR FAIR AND SQUARE: The frenzy of a bidding war can drive up sales and also drive a wedge in relationships. While you won fairly, it would be thoughtful for you acknowledge that the two of you both wanted this item and you are sorry you couldn't both win it.