DEAR HARRIETTE: I have reason to believe that my neighbor has anger issues. OK, I know that sounds strong, but the things that I see her doing are really disturbing. She seems to fly off the handle without cause. Like when I saw her at a small party I hosted, she started yelling at one of my guests out of nowhere. Then another time I saw her standing outside her house, and she was screaming at the mailman. He looked shocked and gave her the mail and walked away. She seems to yell at the slightest provocation. Who knows why, but I must say that it is disturbing. I have decided not to invite her over to my house anymore, but part of me feels like she needs help. How could I possibly do that? -- Estranged Neighbor, Philadelphia
DEAR ESTRANGED NEIGHBOR: Before writing her off, invite your neighbor for tea. When it is just the two of you, get to know her a bit. Listen to her as she talks about whatever is on her mind. People often reveal a lot about themselves when you just let them talk. Do not bring up her temper. If she creates an entry point in the conversation, you may gently mention that you got worried when she got so upset. Then you can ask her if she is OK. Otherwise, stop inviting her to your functions and keep your distance.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)