DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel as though I am going through a problem many girls would love to have: My boyfriend is buying me too many gifts. I am always slightly uncomfortable with receiving gifts, but my boyfriend says he loves buying me things. Earrings, sweaters, chocolates and even mini-vacations to hotels in nearby cities are all gifts that have been given to me multiple times. I am not high maintenance. I think being treated to a nice dinner is the best gift possible. Whenever I propose the idea of no gifts, my boyfriend laughs and says that is never going to happen. Not only do I find these gifts unnecessary sometimes, it puts pressure on me to reciprocate! I wrestle the check away from him at dinners and do buy him presents occasionally, but I don't think spending so much money on each other makes sense. Also, I don't have as much disposable income as he does and would love to limit gifting, but the conversation never goes well. What is the best solution to this frivolous problem? -- Gift Guilt, Dallas
DEAR GIFT GUILT: Tell your boyfriend that you would like him to use his resources differently. Rather than lavishing you with gifts, why not start an investment account where you save toward a goal. Refuse the gifts, even though he keeps bringing them, and redirect him toward a savings or investment instrument or even a charity. If you stop accepting, he will eventually stop giving.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)