DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a message from the best man from my wedding saying that he is coming to town and asking to get together. I got married 20 years ago, and I have hardly spoken to him over all these years. Our lives sort of drifted apart more than anything. He is a great guy, and I remember all the good times we had together when we were younger, but time just seems to have passed and our lives got busy. I am excited to see him and look forward to meeting his family. What I'm not sure about is whether I should address the fact that we haven't kept in touch over the years. He has tried to keep us connected, but I suck at calling people or emailing them. Really, I'm horrible at it. Still, I want him to know how much I respect and love him. We are going to see each other in a few weeks. What should I do? -- Long-Lost Friend, Seattle, Washington
DEAR LONG-LOST FRIEND: Stay in the present. Respond immediately to your friend to tell him how much you look forward to seeing him when he comes to town. Find out what his plans are and when he thinks he will be available to spend time with you. Rather than apologizing for the time you haven't spent together, use this time to learn about his life and to tell him about yours.
It is not uncommon for people who were close to lose touch over time. Consider it a blessing that you are able to get back into each other's lives at this point. You may also want to work harder at keeping in touch after he leaves. Stop saying that you are bad at communicating and decide that this friendship is worth the extra effort.