DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband invited me to meet him for dinner next week. He will be in town and thought that it would be good for us to have a moment, as he put it. We have been divorced for six years, and the reason we broke up is because he had multiple affairs. I was devastated for a long time. I have since moved on. I am remarried and have a good life. My ex said he had some news to share with me. I am not sure if I should go to find out what it is. Also, I'm not sure if I should mention this to my husband. He knows about how ugly that marriage became, and I don't want to dredge up old stuff. -- Old and New, Boston
DEAR OLD AND NEW: There is no telling what your ex wants to share with you. You have to decide if you are curious enough to find out. You should definitely discuss this with your husband. Do not put yourself in the vulnerable position of meeting this man without your husband's knowledge and blessing. You will only be creating potential discord in your marriage as you would also be losing the type of emotional support that your husband can provide. When you talk to your husband, go through all of the thoughts and concerns that you have. Know that your ex might even want to apologize to you for his past actions. Even if that is the case, you want your husband to be a part of it.
In the best of worlds, I say go to the meeting with your current husband. Whatever your ex has to tell you, let him say it to the two of you.