DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into an old flame at a black-tie dinner, and boy did he look good! It has been some years since we dated, but to look at him, it's almost as if the hands of time turned backward. I know I sound like a smitten schoolgirl, but that's because it's how I felt! Honestly, he took my breath away. Even better, he was so nice to me, and he even asked me to have coffee with him. So now I'm nearly hyperventilating. I really loved him years ago, but we were too young to think about commitment. We broke up on friendly terms, but I have no idea what his life has been like since. I have been married and divorced. I have two teenage children. While he looks delectable, I am a little overweight. I guess I'm feeling kind of insecure about going out with him. How can I be more confident? -- Twice Smitten, Denver
DEAR TWICE SMITTEN: Take a deep breath and calm yourself down. Focus your attention on yourself for a few minutes. Remind yourself of your value. You have two teenage children of whom you must be proud. What else makes you proud? What kind of person would you say you are? What are your qualities? Make a list of your attributes.
Then remember that this man invited you to coffee. You didn't beg him to ask you out. He must see something in you that interests him, even if it is just as a friend. Rather than reading too much into this invitation, just go. Be your pleasant self and see what happens. Get to know each other again. Choose to talk about the positive things in your life. Ask him to tell you about his life. Rekindle your friendship. Take it slowly. Most important, stay grounded in knowing that you are worthy of this man's interest and affection. You must stand in your own power, though, in order to appear worthy. Let go of the fluttering heart. Be still and strong.