DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife thinks that wearing a girdle or Spanx is all she needs to look fit. I try to tell her that she has to do something more than put on a stretchy garment to make that happen. She just keeps buying bigger clothes and tighter girdles. Don't get me wrong -- I am still attracted to her. I just see that she is deluding herself. There is no way that she is going to be healthy and fit if she eats anything she wants and never moves a muscle. How can I convince her that exercising is the way to go? -- Concerned Spouse, Boston
DEAR CONCERNED SPOUSE: People wake up to their fitness needs on their own personal clocks, as I'm sure you already know. Your wife has yet to recognize what it will take for her to do more than look good in a dress. To help her along, you may want to create activities that inspire movement. Invite her to go apple picking with you this fall. That's a fun date that includes moving around. Invite her to go with you on a hike. Walk together in your neighborhood.
If you treat the activities as dates where the two of you spend time together, you may easily be able to get her to move more than she currently does without griping. Once she begins to see how invigorating movement can be, she may become more open to doing more. Choosing fitness ultimately has to be her idea.