Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole


DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a local store in a job that pays little. The job was mostly to make pocket cash while I was in high school, but I need to save up money before I go to college. I want to hunt for something that pays a little better, but my bosses are really great. They've always treated me well. The shop sells food items, so they often give the staff samples or treats to take home. I feel bad leaving the job because they have been so kind, and I actually like the work. It isn't a drag to do, but I need a job that pays better. Asking for a raise is out of the question because it is a young business and I know that they are trying to be conservative in spending. Do you think I should leave? Or perhaps double up on jobs? -- Broke, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BROKE: You are lucky to have a job that you like so much, and you are smart to be practical about your circumstances. I suggest that you think about what else you can do to supplement your income. Can you baby-sit for any children in your area? Are there any other businesses nearby that may need additional help? Are there families in your neighborhood who utilize young people to help with projects during the summer? Be creative as you think about your options.

You may also want to speak to your bosses and ask if you can work more hours. Be honest about your situation -- you love your job, and you need to make more money before fall. Tell your bosses that you do not want to leave, but you have to figure out a creative solution to take care of yourself. They may be willing to give you more hours rather than giving them to someone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wedding anniversary is coming up, and I am not feeling it. My husband and I have not gotten along for years. We coexist more than engage each other. I have heard people talk about how people grow old together and often get bored, but I am not interested in being bored for the next however many years. I don't necessarily want to get divorced. What can I do to make this anniversary feel more important than just a marker in time? -- Not Feeling Celebratory, Salt Lake City

DEAR NOT FEELING CELEBRATORY: Can you remember when you and your husband used to have fun together? One way people are able to spark renewed enthusiasm about their marriages is to do something that they loved years ago. The range of activities is broad -- taking a long walk, going dancing, reading a good book and talking about it, going on an adventurous vacation or hanging out with mutual friends.

Ask your husband if he would like to do something special on your big day. Suggest a few ideas that have come up for you. Tell him you want to make the day special. Claiming it is a good first step.