DEAR HARRIETTE: I read the letter from "In a Tizzy," the woman who was panicked because her mother-in-law was coming to visit her very messy home. I would like to tell "Tizzy" to straighten up her house and find places where all the stuff that's lying around can be put away neatly. For the deep cleaning that is really needed -- bathrooms and kitchen cleaned to perfection -- consider calling a service for a one-time house going-over. (Do this a day or two before the guest's arrival.) The service's employees will dust blinds and vacuum thoroughly -- everything sparkles.
I had a knee replacement, and while I was in a rehab home, my husband had a service come in and really deep-clean our home. I had not been able to do much for several months before surgery. Wow, what a wonderful surprise when I came home!
Tizzy's mother-in-law will be shocked when there is nothing she can complain about. Whatever Tizzy does, she should not tell her mother-in-law who did the cleaning but instead let her think Tizzy's skills have improved. While the guest is there, Tizzy should pick up every day and do dishes immediately; leave nothing lying around. Run a duster around when it needs it.
Just a thought! I know a cleaning service can be a bit expensive, depending on your finances, but it may be worth it just to see the mother-in-law's reaction. Enjoy your column. -- Cleaning Up, Chicago
DEAR CLEANING UP: If "In a Tizzy's" home is not too messy, she may be able to follow your very sound suggestion: Clean up some, and get help for the heavy lifting. Some people can tidy up effectively, especially if they put their minds to it.
If you cannot afford to hire someone to help, ask a trusted friend to join you in tossing out what needs to go. Push past any embarrassment you may feel. Chances are that you can weather a best friend's furrowed brow more easily than a critical relative's.
I do want to caution, though, that some people get stuck in a mess way before they are able to see their way clear to putting things away neatly. This may be impossible to grasp for someone who is neat, but messy people can find it a debilitating effort.
DEAR HARRIETTE: By all means, tell your reader who was debating whether to contact a relative to get in touch! I had not seen or spoken to a few of my cousins in years, but circumstances brought us to the same city or together for college and, unfortunately, funerals. It was like we never left one another! It had been about 40 years since I had seen some of them. Catching up was amazing! Since some of our parents had passed, it was nice "filling in the holes" regarding our parents, too.
Since seeing each other, we keep in contact. And due to a recent return by a "long lost" cousin to the city of all of our births, our kids have become friends as well as relatives. -- Reconciled, Downers Grove, Ill.
DEAR RECONCILED: I'm all for making up and moving on. Life is so short. Savor every moment you can.