DEAR HARRIETTE: My college boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months, and we really like each other. Summer is approaching, and we will be separated the entire time. People have suggested asking my parents if he can come to our state and stay with us in our home. I have had friends whose parents let them do this, but my parents are pretty strict.
Is it weird to ask if my boyfriend can stay with us for a few days so I don't have to go four months without seeing him in person? -- Already Missing My Man, Syracuse, N.Y.
DEAR ALREADY MISSING MY MAN: You know your parents the best, so you likely know how open they would be to having your boyfriend stay at your home.
I like the idea. I think you should introduce it to your parents by saying that you would like for your boyfriend to meet them and that you want to see him at some point during the summer. Be honest. Tell them what you like about this young man, and share stories that illustrate his good qualities. Make it clear that you think they will like him, too.
If you have a guest room in your home, point out that he could stay in that room. Suggest options that show your parents you respect them and their rules.
Some parents allow visiting boyfriends or girlfriends to stay in the same room as their hosts. I can tell you that I would not do that. Instead of pushing for intimate quarters for your visit, suggest a get-to-know-the-family visit. You may be pleasantly surprised by your parents' reaction.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My college roommate is inconsiderate. He has in the past spilled alcohol on two pairs of my shoes and never offered to clean them up or even tell me about it. He has "sexiled" me at 2 a.m. on a weeknight when I was about to go to bed, and he lets his friends drink my drinks from the fridge. I am fed up. How should I address this issue? -- Fed Up, Philadelphia
DEAR FED UP: Have you confronted your roommate about any of this behavior? Step one is to directly address his transgressions with him. Tell him you did not appreciate any of his bad behavior -- from spilling drinks on your shoes to putting you out when you were about to sleep so he could have sex. Ask him to stop.
If he refuses, ask your resident assistant for support. One of the RA's jobs is to help students manage difficult situations with roommates.
The reality is that school is almost finished for this semester. Be sure to ask for a different roommate next semester. Also, do yourself a favor and speak up earlier if you have a roommate issue next semester.