Winter has always been rough for Erin Suess.
But last year Suess, 42, sank lower than she had in years.
"2021 really broke me," she said: The demands of working from her home while helping two young children with their virtual schooling, along with the ongoing pandemic anxiety and the deaths of people close to her, compounded her winter blues.
She lost interest in everything and just wanted to hibernate or lie down. Insomnia stalked her at night. She gave up crocheting, which had been a much-needed creative outlet. Her daily steps, once near 10,000, dwindled to 1,000. She didn't do anything other than work and take care of her family.
"It was like Groundhog's Day," she said. "There was nothing to look forward to."
When she mentioned it to her primary care doctor, he dismissed her complaints and said her case was just "situational depression."
Studies that examine gender disparities in health care find that women are more likely than men to have their medical concerns dismissed or downplayed. It took Suess more than a year to broach the subject again with a different doctor.
Christine M. Patterson, executive director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness-St. Louis, said the country's mental health crisis is exacerbated by a shortage of mental health professionals and other barriers to access. Many people seeking care encounter considerably long wait times; others can't find affordable mental health services at all.
The pandemic -- surging as it enters its third year, having already taken a serious toll on children, teens, young adults, working parents and the elderly -- is making a bleak winter even more challenging for many.
"Everyone thought we were almost through it," Patterson said. "We saw the light at the end of the tunnel, then increasing isolation started happening again."
The omicron surge, coupled with the post-holiday crash, may have worsened symptoms for those vulnerable to seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression associated with decreasing light outside.
Cynthia Woodcock, 53, is a psychiatric nurse practitioner in St. Louis who knows the winter is a trigger for her.
"My mom died in December when I was young," she said. "The time after Thanksgiving until Valentine's Day was always bleak."
Getting COVID-19 in December despite all the precautions she has taken knocked out her endurance.
"Everything kind of goes gray," she said. "I feel sluggish and like hibernating under a blanket."
Woodcock was able to talk to her doctor about adjusting her medication. Plus, she began using a rowing machine to exercise at home and a weighted blanket to help with sleep. The combination has helped her feel like her foundation has resettled in the past few weeks.
Suess had also tried her usual over-the-counter strategies, including a light therapy lamp, to lift herself from the depression she was experiencing. But it wasn't enough.
"If your serotonin levels have cratered, there's no amount of self-care in the world that would right that ship," she said.
In September, she finally found a doctor who prescribed the correct dosage of medicine to help her. The process of finding a psychiatrist with available appointments who would take her insurance, and then making time for doctor visits away from work, was even harder given her depression. Titrating to the proper dose of medication was also difficult. But now she's sleeping and feeling much better.
"I'm solar-powered," she said. "Without the sun, I can't work."
Getting proper medical care has been a game-changer for Suess. This winter season has been significantly better than the last one. She's performing better at work and able to enjoy her hobbies again.
"I feel like a participant in life instead of just hibernating through it," she said.