Q: My husband had an affair with another woman. It's over now, I genuinely believe he's truly sorry, and we're working toward reconciliation. But as a somewhat embarrassing practical consideration -- should he be tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI)and diseases?

Jim: I'm sorry to hear about the affair but encouraged by the progress you're making. And to answer your question -- you should both get tested as soon as possible, for many reasons.

The first and most obvious concern is that an STI could have huge implications for your health as well as the sexual dimension of your relationship. This is especially important for you, since some of these diseases can lie dormant in a woman's body for a long time before showing any symptoms. It's critical to bring the facts to light as soon as possible to avoid potential further damage.

Also, in situations of marital unfaithfulness, a vital element of the reconciliation process is a complete willingness on the part of the offending spouse to take responsibility for -- and accept the consequences of -- their actions. These consequences can be physical and medical as well as emotional and psychological. You can't expect to put your marriage wholly back together unless your husband is prepared to deal with everything.

That said, the emotional and psychological aspects of these situations are often of far greater consequence -- and can be more difficult to resolve. If you haven't yet, I highly recommend that you and your husband initiate a detailed course of therapy with a trained and qualified counselor. Our own staff counselors would be happy to provide a free consultation, then put you in touch with a local marriage therapist who can uncover any unresolved issues in your relationship and guide you through the reconciliation and healing process. You can call 855-771-HELP (4357). I wish you the best.

Q: I've been hearing about something called "the metaverse." What is it, and how might it affect my kids?

Adam Holz, Director, Plugged In: It seems like everyone's talking about the metaverse these days. That's because existing technology continues to advance, and because Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg sees the still-forming metaverse as the next significant step in the internet's evolution.

But what is the metaverse, exactly?

Put simply, the metaverse is an immersive virtual reality connection to a specific online community. A user enters this digital realm via a VR (virtual reality) headset, combined with gloves and other clothing that enables real physical engagement in a simulated reality. Once you're embedded in a given metaverse environment, you can roam that world and do many of the things you'd do in the real world. To do so, you'll design a customized avatar -- a digital representation of yourself similar to what you'll find in many online role-player games already.

If that sounds familiar, it is. This is exactly the kind of world that numerous movies have imagined ("Ready Player One" and "Avatar," among others).

Many people will naturally recognize that increasing immersion in a digital environment can never replace our incarnational, face-to-face need for relationship that God has hard-wired into us. Still, as metaverse technology advances, and as that simulated virtual reality becomes more realistically immersive, many users will definitely be tempted to spend more and more time there -- which is exactly what Zuckerberg is banking on.

We already know that excessive screen time comes freighted with adverse mental health correlations. The metaverse potentially acts as an exponential accelerant for those escaping this reality and looking for a more satisfying substitution online.

As this technology advances, parents' challenge will be to understand its significant appeal and to help their children navigate the traps set by an enticing virtual alternative to life in the real world.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: My father wasn't a good role model, so I feel pretty clueless about the whole parenting thing. Now my wife and I are expecting our first child. I'm eager to be a dad but also intimidated. Can you offer any insights?

Jim: I've always liked a quote from author Kent Nerburn: "It is much easier to become a father than to be one." I think it explains one of the reasons why so many dads feel overwhelmed.

It doesn't take much for us guys to feel like we're in over our heads. When your 6-month-old baby starts wailing, you can't make him stop. When your son is failing algebra, you can't make him pass. If your daughter gets bullied, you can't just make all of her hurt feelings disappear. Being a dad is much slower and subtler.

Of course, that's what can make fatherhood seem so frustrating. We men frequently hold the reins and make things happen in our professional lives. But parenting can strip us of that sense of control. As much as we might want it to be, fatherhood isn't like being a mechanic: We can't fix things with the simple turn of a wrench. Even worse, sometimes we don't know if what we're doing is even working.

Being a successful dad starts by learning your role. Don't try to force your child down a certain path in life; rather, walk alongside them and encourage them in their journey. It's a process that takes a lot more patience, time and commitment than many guys are used to. But at its heart, fatherhood is a relationship. The essence of what you're aiming for is to gently coach your kids while being their cheerleader and champion -- and modeling the character traits you want to see them develop.

For more parenting tips and advice, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I've heard you say that couples should have regular date nights. My husband and I try to do that, but we seem to always end up talking (even arguing) about problems at home instead of having fun and enjoying each other's company. We could use some coaching on this one!

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Full disclosure: my wife, Erin, and I still struggle with this ourselves! It's often challenging to even carve out time to have a date. So, once we're together, whatever issues are top of mind for one or both of us tend to come up. Next thing we know, what should have been an evening of fun and connection becomes an argument. By the end of the date, instead of emotionally connecting, husband and wife have drifted a little further apart.

I think it's very important to resist the temptation to "administrate" your marriage rather than to enjoy one another's company. Every marriage has real issues that need to be addressed occasionally (or often). Those can include financial challenges, discipline problems with kids, communication struggles, etc. There's a time and place to confront those challenges, but it's not on date nights.

The best way to keep your dates fun, exciting and conflict-free is to proactively plan your activities. Have specific things in mind to do -- and keep to the script. Agree ahead of time that you'll avoid certain touchy subjects. Be strategic about using things like movies, concerts or art exhibits to stimulate your conversations. Use a "discussion starter" resource to ask each other questions. You might even think back "premarriage" to when you were first dating, and revisit some of your favorite conversations and memories.

Pro tip: Occasional double dates with another couple can help keep things on track.

We have plenty of ideas and marriage resources available at our website listed above.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

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Q: What's the balance -- or difference -- between forgiveness and reconciliation in a case of marital infidelity? A year ago, I discovered that my husband had resumed a previous long-term emotional affair with a friend of mine. Their relationship has ended now, and I believe I've forgiven him. But I'm still having a hard time trusting or feeling any affection for him.

Jim: My heart goes out to you and the deep hurt you've experienced. There are, in fact, some very significant distinctions between forgiveness and reconciliation. For example, forgiveness is an individual decision, while reconciliation is a joint venture. Forgiveness is a vital element in the larger process of reconciliation; without true forgiveness there can be no reconciliation. But a person can forgive without necessarily being reconciled. Much depends on the other individual's response.

There's also an important difference between the choice of forgiveness and the emotion of forgiveness. Once you've determined to let go of a past offense, it can sometimes take a fair amount of time for your feelings to catch up with your willful decision. Change of this magnitude generally doesn't happen overnight.

Your emotions are completely understandable given the circumstances. So your husband must allow you the time you need to work through those feelings of betrayal and invalidation. He also has to realize that true reconciliation requires his response to your forgiveness -- by taking the initiative to rebuild trust into the relationship. That means acknowledging his betrayal, entering into your pain and daily demonstrating his fidelity, reliability and trustworthiness as a person. That's what repentance is all about. Meanwhile, your task is to stay open to trusting him again in spite of the baggage of the past.

If you'd like to discuss your situation further with one of our staff counselors, I invite you to call 855-771-HELP (4357). I wish you the best.

Q: I'm beginning to think my five-year-old son is overly attached to his mother. Some days it's almost impossible to separate him from her. Only Mom can clean him up when he makes a mess, and only Mom is allowed to read the bedtime story. He insists that she sit in the back seat of the car with him. Will he outgrow this?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: It's important to understand that your son isn't rejecting you. For now, he simply feels more secure with his mom. It's likely he'll outgrow this phase in time if you respond with love, patience and persistence. But there are some things you can do that may help the process along.

First, make sure you and your wife are on the same page. Express your concerns openly, and if she agrees that there may be a potential problem, enlist her help in finding more opportunities for you to bond with your son.

Try to determine what makes him feel comfortable with Mom -- and uncomfortable without her. Be a "thought detective" and an "emotions interpreter." If he has a sensitive personality and is generally fearful, she can help reinforce that you're a safe person and you love him very much.

Do as many things as possible together as a family so he can become more accustomed to the dynamic. Provide relational safety through smiles, affection, laughter and playfulness. Be persistent and patient.

Schedule plenty of "dad time" together. Explore activities that interest him or match his personality. As he feels known and understood, accompanied by laughter and fun together, you'll foster that sense of secure attachment.

If the problem persists, or if your wife is reluctant about you taking a more involved role with your son, you're welcome to contact our staff counselors at the number above.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at www.jimdalyblog.com or at www.facebook.com/DalyFocus.

INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHT SECURED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.