LEAD STORY -- Bright Idea

Eco-activist Rob Greenfield has stopped using toilet paper, and he wants you to, too. People reported on May 4 that Greenfield is touring the country as part of his Grow Your Own Toilet Paper Initiative, introducing people to the blue spur flower plant. The leaves are "soft as can be," he said. "They're durable. I call them the Charmin of the garden." Greenfield sets up a compost toilet in a busy area and gives his spiel: "Hey, did you know you can grow your own toilet paper? I want to show people that another way is possible. We just buy (toilet paper) at the store and we never think twice about it." Each leaf is about the size of a piece of toilet paper, and the plant supplies an abundance of them. They can't be flushed, but they can be thrown in the trash or buried in the yard. Passersby who get sucked in will also hear Greenfield's views on composting human waste rather than using flush toilets. [People, 5/4/2023]

Field Report

Nina Jochnowitz was alerted on April 26 by a fellow citizen in Old Bridge, New Jersey, about an odd deposit near a stream, NJ.com reported. When Jochnowitz investigated, she found 500 pounds of cooked pasta -- spaghetti, ziti and elbow macaroni -- dumped along a 25-foot-wide area. She posted photos on Facebook and alerted the town administrator and public works department, and two days later, the carb-y mess had been cleaned up. Jochnowitz pointedly remarked that Old Bridge is the only town in the county without bulk garbage pickup. Days later, the mystery of the pasta's origin was solved: A man moving out of his mother's home after her death discovered a stockpile of dry noodles and allegedly dumped them there. A weekend's worth of heavy rains softened the pasta, making it look as if it had been cooked. Old Bridge's mayor declared no harm, no foul, and the few stray noodles left on the ground are the only sign of the great pasta caper. [NJ.com, 5/4/2023]

Fine Points of the Law

The Ohio Supreme Court ruled on May 3 that a man who was serving eight to 12 years in prison did not, after all, commit a burglary. In September 2020, Donald Bertram approached the home of Timothy Huff as Huff was working in his yard, The Columbus Dispatch reported. Bertram walked into Huff's open garage, picked up a $500 leaf blower, got in his car and drove away. But the court said that because Bertram committed the act without "force, stealth or deception," it wasn't a burglary. Instead, justices told Scioto County Common Pleas Court that he could be charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing. Sentences for misdemeanors typically result in less than a year in jail. [Columbus Dispatch, 5/3/2023]

Awesome!

From the too-good-to-pass-up file: Photographer Ken Pretty of Dildo, Newfoundland, had the extraordinary luck on April 27 to capture a 30-foot-tall iceberg floating in Conception Bay. (Nearby towns include Spread Eagle and Placentia.) Live Science reported that the berg, "a column with a domed head protruding up from two oval rafts of ice," resembled a phallus. "I knew I'd get a lot of comments," Pretty said, "but I didn't expect this much." Sadly, the "dickie berg," as locals named it, didn't last: It collapsed the next day. [Live Science, 5/2/2023]

Recurring Theme

It's happened again. Minnesota state Sen. Calvin Bahr of East Bethel garnered some unwanted attention on May 1 after he cast a vote via Zoom -- camera on, lying shirtless in bed with, inexplicably, an "I'm Just a Bill" character from "Schoolhouse Rock!" on the wall behind him. The Associated Press reported that immediately after casting his vote, Bahr switched off his camera. [Associated Press, 5/2/2023]

Suspicions Confirmed

On April 29 in Groningen, the Netherlands, police pulled over a driver who had mowed down a post on a sidewalk, Oddity Central reported. The unnamed 35-year-old man refused a breath test, but he did produce a Ukrainian driver's license with a familiar name and photo: Boris Johnson, the former prime minister of the United Kingdom. The license had Johnson's correct date of birth but had an expiration date of 3000. Apparently, such fake licenses are popular at Ukrainian souvenir shops. [Oddity Central, 5/2/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

Jerry Martin had what he thought was a winning idea for a retail shop: The Drug Store, where people could buy cocaine, heroin, meth and MDMA that had been tested for fentanyl. Vice reported that Martin's mobile shop, in Vancouver, Canada, was open less than 24 hours when he was arrested for drug trafficking. The store, housed in a mobile trailer that Martin parked next to a police van, featured bright yellow boards with prices listed for all the drugs. Martin wore a stab-proof vest as he sold the items from behind a plexiglass window. According to him, his plan included getting arrested so that he could challenge "laws that prevent a safe supply and result in death by poisoning" in Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms. [Vice, 5/4/2023]

Least Competent Criminals

The BBC reported on May 4 that three burglars broke into a shoe store in Huancayo, Peru, in the middle of the night and made off with 200 shoes. Unfortunately for them, they were all right shoes. Surveillance video captured them using a tricycle to remove the boxed shoes. The shop owner estimated the value at more than $13,000, although the thieves may have trouble selling the shoes for only one foot. The local police chief was confident that they would be caught. [BBC, 5/4/2023]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Akron (Ohio) Municipal Court Judge Ron Cable made a couple's dreams come true on May 4 as he officiated a "Star Wars"-themed wedding, the Associated Press reported. Julia and Robert Jones said when they heard about the special ceremonies, "There was no other right decision. That was it." They joined six other couples in 15-minute wedding ceremonies at the Highland Universal Gathering Spot in Akron. Julia and Robert took the theme to the next level, wearing Sith and Jedi robes and carrying lightsabers. "By the joining of the lightsabers," Cable intoned, "and by the giving and receiving of rings," he pronounced them husband and wife. "May the Force be with you." [AP, 5/4/2023]

Family Values

An unnamed 67-year-old woman in Russia was charged with hiring the murder of her 48-year-old daughter just so she could inherit the younger woman's Krasnoyarsk apartment, Oddity Central reported. The murderous mom told an acquaintance about her plan, and that person said they knew someone who could pull it off. The would-be assassin and the mom met in a park, where she offered about $1,040 for the job. But the hit man went to police, who helped him stage the murder and engaged the help of the victim. On May 3, the hit man contacted the mom and told her he had repeatedly stabbed her daughter with a knife, then provided her daughter's bag as evidence. She then transferred the money to his account, and police swooped in. Her new home won't be the apartment she was hoping for. [Oddity Central, 5/5/2023]

Meanwhile, Across the Pond ...

London is all abuzz with coronation pomp, and chocolatier Jennifer Lindsey-Clarke isn't about to be left out, Sky News reported on April 26. She has created a life-size bust of King Charles III using about 2,900 melted Celebrations chocolates. "The team studied hours of footage of the king to capture his true likeness, and the resemblance is uncanny," said Emily Owen, senior brand manager for Celebrations. The bust weighs about 50 pounds and took four weeks to create. The chocolate king wears the uniform that the actual king is expected to wear for his coronation, including epaulettes on the shoulders made of Twix, Milky Way, Galaxy and Bounty confections. The sculpture is on display at Mars Wrigley UK's headquarters in Slough. [Sky News, 4/26/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

LEAD STORY -- Creme de la Weird

For the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic began, a ritual event took place at the Sensoji Temple in Tokyo on April 22, The Guardian reported. The traditional "crying sumo" event features pairs of infants, held up by the parents facing each other, who are frightened into crying by staff wearing "oni" demon masks. The first baby to cry wins the match. "We can tell a baby's health condition by listening to the way they cry," said Hisae Watanabe, mother of an 8-month-old. "I want to hear her healthy crying." Crying sumo events are held throughout the country. "In Japan, we believe babies who cry powerfully also grow up healthily," explained Shigemi Fuji, chairman of the Asakusa Tourism Federation, which organized the event. [The Guardian, 4/22/2023]

Clothing Optional

Police in Mesa, Arizona, responded to the One Life Church on April 16 after receiving a call about a naked man in the church's baptismal fountain, AZCentral reported. Officers said Jeremiah Sykes, 20, was asked to leave repeatedly but wouldn't comply; he then wrapped himself in a blanket and wandered about the property. Sykes told officers he was baptizing himself. During his booking procedure, he punched two officers, compounding his charges. [AZCentral, 4/18/2023]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Shivdayal Sharma, 82, died in a freak accident in the Alwar region of India on April 19, LBC reported. As Sharma urinated near a train track, a Vande Bharat express train struck a cow, launching it 100 feet into the air before it landed on him. Sharma was killed instantly, and another man narrowly escaped being hit also. Ironically, Sharma worked at Indian Railways before retiring 23 years ago. Officials are calling for metal fencing to keep cows away from the tracks, along with the removal of garbage and vegetation. [LBC, 4/24/2023]

It's a Dirty Job

The Blackpool Zoo in England is hiring! Wanted: "A team of people to join our Visitor Services team as 'Seagull Deterrents.'" You, too, can dress up in a large bird costume and scare away pesky seagulls, which steal food from both visitors and animal enclosures. The Daily Mail reported that candidates must be "outgoing, as you need to be comfortable wearing a bird costume," and hours will be variable. [Daily Mail, 4/23/2023]

The Passing Parade

On April 19, Viktoria Nasyrova, 47, of Brooklyn, New York, was sentenced to 21 years in prison for a bizarre plot she cooked up against a lookalike friend from Ukraine, NBC News reported. Nasyrova wanted to avoid being sent back to Russia, where she faced charges in a 2014 murder, according to the Queens district attorney's office. So in 2016, she laced a cheesecake with phenazepam, a powerful toxin found only in Russia, and fed it to her "friend." The victim survived, but her Ukrainian passport and $4,000 in cash were stolen. Nasyrova's attorney said that she will likely be deported after serving her sentence. [NBC News, 4/19/2023]

The Continuing Crisis

In Carmarthenshire, Wales, residents have responded to the condition of a rural road that they describe as the "worst in the county" with a clever road sign, Wales Online reported on April 27. "Caution: Remove dentures. Adjust bra straps. Secure your nuts," the sign reads. Abergorlech Road is full of potholes, and while some have been filled, residents believe "the road is so worn and damaged that it requires complete resurfacing in many places," a spokesman said. "Whilst the sign is intended to be funny, the constant wear and tear on our vehicles is a real issue." The Carmarthenshire Council contends that there is no money budgeted for resurfacing, but residents say it's "ironic that the police can check our vehicles to ensure that they're safe for the road, but no one is ensuring that the road is safe for our vehicles." Maybe it's time to call the Terminator. [Wales Online, 4/27/2023]

Awesome!

-- Seventh-grader Dillon Reeves of Warren, Michigan, is being hailed as a hero after he came to the rescue of a wayward school bus on April 26, ABC News reported. Reeves noticed as he was riding the bus home from school that the driver was "in distress." Superintendent Robert D. Livernois said the student "stepped to the front of the bus and helped bring it to a stop without incident. I could not be prouder of his efforts." The bus driver had lost consciousness; emergency personnel tended to the driver, and students were delivered home on another bus. [ABC News, 4/27/2023]

-- King Charles III's coronation is only days away, and while the royal family will be shuttled to and fro in gold-clad carriages drawn by fine white horses, the average Londoner will be on foot. Or ... you can hire a horse-and-carriage Uber! Metro News reported on April 27 that the Coronation Carriage will operate May 3 through 5 in Dulwich Park in London; the fancy carriage is fashioned after the royal vehicle and features a plush interior with embroidered cushions and throws. Even more posh, Uber will donate money from the rides to Spana, a U.K. charity that supports the welfare of working animals. [Metro News, 4/27/2023]

Inexplicable

-- The Madison County (Texas) Sheriff's Office is investigating the mysterious mutilations and deaths of six cows spread over three counties, Fox News reported on April 22. The cows were found along a highway with their tongues cut out, but strangely, no blood had been spilled and there were no signs of the cattle struggling. Furthermore, investigators said, the carcasses had lain undisturbed by scavengers for several weeks. All the cows were found in the same position: lying on their side, with the face cut along the jawline and the tongue neatly removed. There were no discernable tracks in the area, sheriff's officers said. They're working with other law enforcement agencies across the U.S. to identify similar incidents. [Fox News, 4/22/2023]

-- The Coniston Tavern in Nuneaton, England, is allegedly haunted by the ghost of a former drinker there, according to the landlord, Andy Gadsby. Fox News reported that on April 24, CCTV video captured an incident where a beer glass suddenly exploded, showering three pals with shards of glass. Earlier, at the same table, a different customer's glass suddenly slid to the floor. Gadsby said the ghost is Dave, who used to live in an apartment above the pub. "One night he drank a bottle of brandy and had a heart attack and died," Gadsby said. "Maybe his spirit is around the pub and he's desperately trying to pinch people's drinks. The two incidents have spooked people out." [Fox News, 4/27/2023]

News You Can Use

The Spanish parliament has "overcome the Spain of the past," as Jesus Martin, director general of the Royal Board on Disabilities, put it, with a vote banning "dwarf bullfighting." The Huffington Post reported that this traditional "comic" event features people with dwarfism dressed as firefighters or clowns who chase bulls without doing them any harm. The shows go back decades but are decreasing in popularity. "People with dwarfism are subjected to mockery in public squares in our country," Martin said. However, some of the performers are objecting to the ban. "They take it for granted that people are being denigrated or laughed at, and it's the opposite: The respect they have for us is impressive," said Daniel Calderon, one of the bullfighters. [Huff Post, 4/27/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

The Mondaiji Con Cafe Daku (loosely translated: Problem Child Concept Cafe) in Sapporo, Japan, was forced to fire one of its waitresses in April after she was discovered to be adding her own blood to cocktails, the Daily Mail reported. The cafe owner called her actions "absolutely not acceptable" and said the establishment would close while every drinking glass was replaced. "We will hire a contractor to clean the store, change glasses and dispose of alcoholic beverages that may have been contaminated," he said. He called her actions "part-time job terrorism." A local doctor said anyone who had patronized the cafe should visit a doctor and have a blood test. [Daily Mail, 4/13/2023]

It's a Mystery

Over the last several months, Don Powell and his wife, Nancy, have been puzzling over uninvited inhabitants of their fancy mailbox in Orchard Lake, Michigan. USA Today reported that in August 2022, two small dolls, a miniature couch and a small table appeared in the mailbox, which is custom-built to resemble the Powells' home, with windows and a solar-powered interior light that comes on at night. The dolls were accompanied by a note: "We've decided to live here. Mary and Shelley." Powell thought a neighbor might be spoofing him, but after exhaustive investigatory work, he's no closer to knowing the source of the figures. Over time, the home gained a four-poster bed, a dog, a rug and art for the wall. "The whole thing got rather whimsical," Powell said. At Halloween, Mary and Shelley were replaced by two skeleton dolls dressed in black, and at Christmas, tiny, wrapped gifts appeared. Now, Powell is thinking of writing a children's book about the mailbox mystery. "I think it creates a novel story," he said. [USA Today, 4/13/2023]

The Continuing Crisis

Angel Footman, 23, a teacher at Griffin Middle School in Tallahassee, Florida, was arrested on April 7 and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, the New York Post reported. The charges came after school administrators learned Footman was allegedly hosting violent brawls between students in her classroom. Naturally, she set down rules: no recordings, and no pulling hair. No screaming (draws attention). Fights must be limited to 30 seconds each. However, several sixth-grade girls alerted administrators, and video turned up showing Footman at her desk while students fought each other. She's scheduled for arraignment in May. [NY Post, 4/10/2023]

Bright Idea

Drivers along Interstate 5 near Eugene, Oregon, were startled on April 11 to see $100 bills floating through the air, Fox News reported. In fact, many cars stopped along the highway to grab the loot. When the Oregon State Police tracked down the source, it was Colin Davis McCarthy, who told them he'd been throwing the money out of his car to "bless others." He said he thought he'd dispersed around $200,000. The OSP later revealed that McCarthy's family had been in touch; he had depleted a shared family bank account for his Robin Hood moment. [Fox News, 4/14/2023]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Northern Railway in England has made a specific appeal to its riders: Please stop watching porn on the train. The Mirror reported that Northern provides "Friendly Wi-fi," which meets (apparently the bare) minimum filtering standards. Tricia Williams, chief operating officer, said people should remember that "some content is not suitable for everyone to see or hear -- particularly children." While the company understands that the ride may be "the first opportunity to view content," commuters should "wait until you get home." [Mirror, 4/14/2023]

Precocious

Anthony Guglielmi, chief of communications for the Secret Service, told CNN on April 18 that a toddler was able to breach the fence around the White House, setting off security alarms. The "curious young visitor" crawled through the fence posts on the north side and was quickly apprehended by Secret Service police officers, who reunited him with his parents. Perhaps he's considering a bid for 2052. [CNN, 4/18/2023]

Update

Last week, News of the Weird reported that former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had taken street maintenance matters into his own hands and filled a pothole in his neighborhood. His good deed turned out to be an "oops" moment, though, according to the Associated Press. The "pothole" was actually a utility trench that had been temporarily filled by Southern California Gas Co. and was set to be fixed permanently later. SoCal Gas said rain had delayed the permanent paving. The Terminator tweeted, "Teamwork. Happy to help speed this up." [Associated Press, 4/14/2023]

Questionable Judgment

Parents of students at Desert Hills Middle School in Kennewick, Washington, are questioning the thinking behind a school assembly activity that took place before spring break, YakTriNews reported. The game involved a large piece of clear plexiglass with stripes of whipped cream sprayed on both sides; teams of students and staff competed to see who could lick the cream off both sides at the same time, making it appear as if the two people were kissing. District Superintendent Dr. Traci Pierce sent a letter to parents on April 12, which assured them that "The content of a video being shared on social media is highly concerning" and the activity "does not reflect the high standards we hold for our staff members." An investigation is underway. [YakTriNews, 4/12/2023]

Nyet

Olga Slegina, 70, was hit with a fine of about $500 on April 18 in Moscow for a remark she made in December about Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the Daily Mail reported. While speaking with another woman at a care home in Nalchik, Slegina called Zelenskyy, 45, a "handsome young man" with a "good sense of humor." That's a no-no in Russia; the Code of Administrative Offenses, introduced in March 2022, characterized her comment as "discrediting" the Russian military. Slegina was told that three people reported her over the discussion, and she was taken to a police station and told she had "praised Zelenskyy." She was unable to attend the trial due to health reasons and intends to file an appeal. [Daily Mail, 4/19/2023]

Overreaction

A Monopoly game in Belgium on April 2 took a sinister turn, Sky News reported. Four people were playing the game outside their home when a neighboring man and his son, apparently annoyed by the players, came outside with a stick and a Japanese samurai sword in a sheath. A scuffle ensued, and the sword came out of its sheath; police said two men -- one of the players and the son -- were injured by the weapon. The Monopoly player was later discharged from the hospital, but the son was reported to be in critical condition. Both men had been arrested. Large patches of blood and scattered Monopoly cards marked the spot of the dispute. [Sky News, 4/5/2023]

Awesome!

A batch of ale originally brewed to celebrate King Edward VIII's coronation in 1937 will hit the auction block, Sky News reported. Edward abdicated the throne before his coronation in order to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson. The Coronation Ale went into storage until it was uncovered in 2011; several crates of the 86-year-old beer will be auctioned off in advance of King Charles III's coronation in May. The brewer, Greene King, says the beer is no longer drinkable and the bottles will just be collectors' items. (Keep an eye on News of the Weird for the unlucky collector who can't resist a sip.) [Sky News, 4/18/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.