News of the Weird

John Stevenson of Inverclyde, Scotland, hit a bump in his plans to vacation in the United States on Dec. 3 when his visa was denied after he declared himself a terrorist while filling out a Department of Homeland Security online form commonly known as ESTA. One of the questions on the form asks, "Are you a terrorist?" Stevenson, 70, told The Independent that the website "must have jumped from No to Yes without me knowing," adding that the site kept timing out and crashing as he and his wife, Marion, tried to answer the questions. "I even called the border control in the U.S. and gave them my passport details," he said. "They looked up my ESTA number and said, 'You're a terrorist.' The only time I've been in court was for jury service. Marion is sick about it. ... I don't know why that question is on the form in the first place." (UPDATE: United Airlines refunded the Stevensons' airline tickets and gifted them two free flights to New York once their visa troubles are all worked out.) [The Independent, 12/1/2018]

Armed and Clumsy

A shopper at a Buckeye, Arizona, Walmart was in the meat department on Nov. 27 when his semiautomatic handgun, which he had positioned for a quick draw in the waistband of his sweatpants, began to slip. As he tried to reposition it, he told Buckeye police, it discharged, striking the gunslinger in his privacies. AZCentral reported the unnamed shopper was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, and no one else was hurt. However, police did file a charge of unlawful discharge of a firearm. [AZCentral, 11/28/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- A successful heist at an electronics retail store requires careful planning and attention to detail -- a fact that appears to have escaped three men in North Raleigh, North Carolina, on Nov. 12. That night, the News and Observer reported, an employee of the store called 911 to report that three men had entered the store with semi-automatic weapons and ordered workers into the stockroom. One of them was carrying a cardboard box, officers learned, which he used to load up mobile phones and smart watches. The men also filled two crates with merchandise, which totaled more than $26,000. When the robbers left through the back door, they took the crates with them, but forgot the cardboard box which, serendipitously, sported a shipping label with an address on it. Police used the address, along with a mug shot from a previous crime that matched an image in the store's surveillance video, to track down Brian Lamonte Clark, 22, and arrest him for robbery with a dangerous weapon and conspiracy to commit robbery. [Raleigh News and Observer, 11/30/2018]

-- The Lucardo Escape Rooms in Manchester, England, were the site of a misguided break-in on Nov. 29 when two thieves ransacked a fake bank vault as if it were the real thing. The Manchester Evening News reported that more than 50 surveillance cameras captured the duo's antics as they broke into fake safes and opened drawers that held only puzzles. "They must be Manchester's stupidest burglars," said Lucardo director Ian Pownall, 26. The business lost about 100 pounds in cash, but damage amounted to about 1,000 pounds -- not to mention lost revenue while the business cleans up. "We're a small, family-owned business, so even a couple of thousand pounds will have an effect on us, particularly before Christmas," Pownall said. [Manchester Evening News, 11/29/2018]

'Scuuuuse Me!

-- At the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton, England, there was more in the air than just the sharp projectiles tossed by competitors on Nov. 16. According to Reuters, former two-time champion Gary Anderson, 47, from Scotland, prevailed over Wesley Harms, 34, from the Netherlands to reach the quarter finals, but Harms had a gripe: He said he was affected by the "fragrant smell" Anderson had emitted as they played. "It'll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose," Harms told a Dutch television station. Anderson objected, saying the smell came "from the table side," laying the blame on spectators. "If the boy thinks I've farted he's 1,010 percent wrong," Anderson declared. "If somebody has done that they need to see a doctor. ... He says it was me, but I would admit it." [Reuters, 11/17/2018]

-- Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was standing in line at a Dollar General store in Dania Beach, Florida, on Nov. 25 when the urge struck and she let one rip. John Walker, who was standing nearby, was offended and complained about "the defendant farting loudly," according to the resulting Broward Sheriff's office complaint, so Wilson pulled out a small folding knife, opened it and threatened to "gut" Walker as she moved toward him. The Miami Herald reported that police called to the scene tracked down Wilson and charged her with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. [Miami Herald, 12/1/2018]

Government in Action

Yoshitaka Sakurada, 68, a 22-year member of Japan's parliament, was named by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in October to two new posts: cybersecurity and Olympics minister for the country. But according to Reuters, at a committee meeting on Nov. 14, when a member of the opposition asked Sakurada a "gotcha" question about his computer literacy, he admitted: "I've never used a computer! ... I've always directed my staff and secretaries to do that kind of thing." He assured the lawmaker there would be no problems. Mmm-hmm. [Reuters, 11/14/2018]

Update

In The Hague, Netherlands, motivational speaker Emile Ratelband, 69, will not turn 50 on his next birthday, as he had hoped. As reported earlier, Ratelband petitioned the court in November for an age change, saying he feels discriminated against both in the career realm and on Tinder. But the Associated Press reported that on Dec. 3, a Dutch court rejected his plea to become 49, saying he did not convince judges that he had been discriminated against and that "Mr. Ratelband is at liberty to feel 20 years younger than his real age and to act accordingly," but noting that changing his age would nullify any number of records from public registers. Ratelband hopes to appeal. [Associated Press, 12/3/2018]

Scrooged

An unnamed substitute teacher in Montville, New Jersey, won't be returning to Cedar Hill School after revealing a sacred secret to first-grade students there on Nov. 29. Superintendent Rene Rovtar told NJ.com that the sub got into a debate with a student about whether Santa is real. That's when the 6-year-olds started quizzing her about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Elf on a Shelf, and the teacher "proceeded to debunk all of it," Rovtar said. Parents reported doing "damage control" after the kids returned home from school, and the sub is no longer welcome in the district. [NJ.com, 12/4/2018]

But, Cheesecake!

Things got "a little hectic" in Clarendon, Virginia, on Dec. 5 when an unexpectedly large number of delivery drivers convened at the Cheesecake Factory in response to a 40th anniversary promotion offering free cheesecake slices. The sweet treats were available only to those who ordered on DoorDash, ARLnow.com reported, and a crowd of delivery drivers double-parked outside and jostled for position inside the restaurant as they picked up orders. Arlington County police and medics responded to reports of fights and disorderly conduct, resulting in one arrest but no apparent injuries. [ARLnow.com, 12/5/2018]

LOL

The animal rights group PETA launched a new campaign Dec. 4 designed to remove some common animal-related idioms from the English language. CBS News reports the group tweeted suggested alterations to phrases it says are verbal vestiges of "speciesism" and perpetuate harmful messages. PETA offers these alternatives: For "bring home the bacon," try "bring home the bagels." "Take the bull by the horns" should be "take the flower by the thorns." And "kill two birds with one stone" morphs into "feed two birds with one scone." PETA likened the use of the original phrases to racist and homophobic language: "Phrases that trivialize cruelty to animals will vanish as more people begin to appreciate animals for who they are." Reaction on social media was swift. Maybe PETA should have let sleeping bags lie. [CBS News, 12/5/2018]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

More like News of the Weird