DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the pandemic, I have encountered serious health, financial and legal troubles. I have always been there for family and friends, but when I needed their emotional support, most of them abandoned me.
I now know who my family and friends really are. As restrictions are lifted, I will see them at various events. I want to take the high road, but what can I say to let them know I want nothing to do with them because of their poor treatment of me and my situation?
GENTLE READER: Please don’t do this. Miss Manners understands that you have had a rough time, but so have countless others -- perhaps some of those people you feel let you down.
Loss of income, job frustrations, isolation and increased family responsibilities have all been commonplace. Illness, even if not from the virus, turned more worrisome as medical facilities were overwhelmed. With disrupted routines and frightening possibilities, moods have been affected and options have been limited.
Unless these people were off on a private island living the good life, any version of “Where were you when I needed you?” would sound callous.
Miss Manners understands and sympathizes with your having been swamped by your various troubles. Perhaps these problems precluded you from regularly checking up on your family and friends in case they needed emotional support -- and they may have been equally distracted.
If there is one thing that quarantining should have taught us, it is that we need one another. This is no time to be pitching your family and friends aside. Rather, when you are able to see them again, you should inquire about their welfare. Then, if they show a marked lack of interest in yours, you might reevaluate the ties.