DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a couple got married, she decided to hyphenate her maiden name and her husband’s last name.
Is it proper for the husband also to hyphenate his last name by taking her maiden name, i.e. her maiden/his last? Would this be legal on important papers? People are doing some strange things these days, and I can't keep up.
GENTLE READER: Don’t even try.
Recognizing the limitations of the 19th-century terms, “Mr. and Mrs.,” and delighted to see the return of the 16th-century term Ms., etiquette recklessly decreed that every lady could decide for herself; and, although it less often comes up, every gentlemen can decide his own name. That makes work for others, memorizing each individual’s preference, but Miss Manners thought people would be happy having the choice.
No such luck. They want to enforce their choices on others, and they take insult when someone fails to remember their particular choice.