DEAR MISS MANNERS: While we did not attend the wedding of our dear friends’ grandson (whom they helped raise) due to our COVID guidelines, we did send a very nice present from their wedding website. We also mailed them a very nice card, separate from the gift, that was delivered to them well before the wedding.
The thank-you just arrived, and the couple only thanked us for our good wishes. I went back to the wedding site and verified that the gift was received (as was our name and address given to the recipients,) but somehow the bride and groom forgot that we gave them the gift.
I am not concerned that they don’t know that their new set of knives, which they use every day, is from us. But I don’t want our dear friends to think that because we did not attend the wedding, we did not send a gift.
Should I say something to my friend, or let it go? I would not want to make the happy couple uncomfortable, but I want our friends to know that we care.
GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners suspects that the couple didn’t bother to personalize their letters of thanks -- how hard is it to say “Thank you for the ...”? -- it is possible that this response was only to your card.
So you could still ask the grandparents whether the present was received, which is the sneaky way of getting the couple in trouble. Yet they did manage a mailing, which not everyone does, so perhaps you should not tattle. Just remark idly that you hope the knives are useful.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)