DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my boyfriend and I sit out on his patio with his 34-year-old son, the son spits incessantly. He doesn’t do this inside, only when we are outside on the patio.
Sometimes he is smoking when he does this, but he will do it whenever he is outdoors. He talks a lot and tends to dominate conversations. When he’s talking outdoors, he spits just about every time he takes a breath.
I’m trying to be more tolerant, but I am a little disgusted with this habit. I’ve also noticed it with other men throughout my life.
Do you know why some men spit like this? I hope I learn to ignore it, but if it ever gets to be too much for me, do you have any suggestions for addressing this habit? I’m afraid that someday, he’ll catch me in a bad mood and I’ll end up snapping at him.
GENTLE READER: What about screaming? Not at him, perhaps, but at the sight of a glob of saliva being propelled from his mouth? That should not be difficult.
Miss Manners does not understand why anyone would feel entitled to spit in front of others. Evidently it is not a medical issue, as it occurs only outdoors, so she hardly sees the point in ascertaining why -- the answer will likely prove just as awful and even more graphic.
With the current added dangers of being in proximity to another person’s emissions, however, one hopes the practice will become more rare -- and that his wearing a mask will help to protect you. As added incentive, your own mask might also stifle those screams.