DEAR MISS MANNERS: A close relative had to cancel her wedding due to COVID-19. While we expect a new date to be decided soon, nothing has been announced.
Then we received a very confusing missive, which contained two announcements. The first was a note canceling the original wedding, and the second was an invitation to a shower-by-mail.
I understand the bride’s dilemma, and I sent her a gift from her registry because that’s what I would have done anyway. But my traditionalist self is troubled by what ends up being a straight-up request for gifts.
Perhaps you can come up with a way to negotiate these new shoals: one that will satisfy both young brides and old aunties like me.
GENTLE READER: Was there ever to be a shower in person? Or was the bride simply terrified that with the wedding canceled, presents would be forgotten -- and she desperately needed new oven mitts?
Although Miss Manners finds your proposal to negotiate generous, there is no real way to compromise here. A shopping list is not an invitation, except to hand over one’s credit card information. If guests made the assumption that presents were no longer required, then they will presumably re-remember when new wedding invitations are sent. In the meantime, the hapless bride must buy her own mitts.