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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

I’m Sorry For Your Loss, But Quit Asking for Money!

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am ready to yank my fingernails out with vise grips!

One of my best friends lost his partner several months ago, and keeps bombarding friends and family with tribute requests. I acquiesced initially, but I’m taking a firm stand now and refuse any further participation.

How do I convey my message without losing a friend?

Mind you, his significant other was a tough 22-ton tanker times 10 -- a two-fisted hardcore alcoholic. On any given day, he would be in a stupor at best, breaking coffee tables at worst. For us to contribute to a liver foundation because he died of liver disease, I feel, is outrageous!

It’s been going on nearly a year now, and my friend is asking if he can count on us for yet another memorial donation. Please give some soothing advice, or else I’ll be going in for a medical manicure very soon.

GENTLE READER: “I have limited resources and will be turning my attention to another cause this year. But I will be sure to drink a toast in Thadeus’ honor the next time we are all together remembering him.”