DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mom and I hosted a birthday party for my dad at our home, and invited about a dozen people. We arranged to have food catered from a local restaurant, and we supplied most of the beverages, although many guests did bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift or birthday gift.
After we had cake around 9:30, most of the guests announced that they had to leave due to the late hour. They left my mom and me with the cleanup of the serving dishes, dinner and dessert plates, cutlery, and wine and champagne glasses -- not to mention the leftovers, which were not insubstantial. None of them offered to help clean up.
Is this the norm and to be expected, or did our guests take advantage of our generosity?
GENTLE READER: It may not be the norm, which is the reason Miss Manners is called upon to explain that it is the rule. Proper guests respond to invitations promptly; arrive reasonably on time; behave sociably; leave before they, or their hosts, lose interest; and send handwritten thank-you letters for the hospitality. Proper hosts do everything else.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)