DEAR MISS MANNERS: Following a pricey destination stag party, our friend married the wrong person in an extravagant destination wedding, complete with various live performances and expensive accommodations.
Upon returning to the U.S., the couple procrastinated filing the marriage license, admittedly because the relationship was in trouble. They continued living together for about a year and half, then separated for good.
Should they return the cash gifts given to them by their friends and family? Does the fact that these guests traveled far and spent a lot of money to attend the over-the-top affair before bestowing said gifts have any bearing?
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners assumes that, in saying your friend married the wrong person, you mean someone who was not his soul mate, and not a guest disoriented by the extravagant entertaining.
Wedding gifts are only returned when the wedding is canceled before, not after, it occurs. So with the above stipulations -- and notwithstanding the complication with the license -- your friend was married, and no return of gifts should be expected.