DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is 19 years old and eats like he’s a 6-year-old. He uses his hands and eats very quickly. How do I nicely tell him to slow down and eat with more manners and couth?
GENTLE READER: Teaching table manners is high on the list of parental responsibilities, so it concerns Miss Manners that you have only interested yourself in the problem at this late date.
But she is encouraged that you were on track at one point, since 6-year-old eating habits differ from those of infants.
It is time for a serious talk -- two, actually: you with your son, and Miss Manners with you. Explain to your son that when he goes out into the world, people will judge him by his behavior, not just his good heart. It is therefore time to work on his table manners. This will be more convincing if you can demonstrate and correct, rather than merely observe.