DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a friend’s daughter got married, I enjoyed seeing her photos on social media, and was very happy for her. I sent her (the daughter) a message and told her I would love to send her a gift if she could send me her address.
I was a bit stunned when she responded and said thank you, but that she didn’t want a gift. I am on a very fixed income, so sending her a present is not a simple matter for me financially, yet I had really wanted to do it to bless her in this happy period of her life.
I felt very slighted by her refusal. (At least I hadn’t purchased a gift yet.) Am I wrong for feeling a bit rejected when she said no gifts were necessary?
GENTLE READER: So frequently does Miss Manners hear from Gentle Readers about their frustrations at constant demands for gifts from friends, relatives and co-workers that she admits to surprise at your question.
Remember that your desire is to express your congratulations and good wishes in a meaningful and memorable way. Your message may already have done this, but if not, a longer, handwritten letter will surely do so.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)