DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am attending an annual event that changed venues, as well as dress code, this year. Usually the event has been very casual, where even heels were judged too much.
This year, the event details say “cocktail attire encouraged.” I always err on the side of dressier in my everyday attire anyway, but I worry I’ll be way overdressed (even though it is better to be overdressed, of course). Generally, what does this dress code mean?
GENTLE READER: Cocktail attire, now that nobody changes clothes for an afternoon drink, indicates something sloppily between formal and business dress, whatever that might mean. And what the authors of the invitation, the guests and Miss Manners believe it to mean may not, alas, be the same.
Encouraging, rather than requiring, such an unhelpful standard is merely the coup de grace. For this reason, she begs all parties to refrain from judging the guests (even while she encourages judging the hosts). Dress as you intended, keep your head up high -- and ignore criticisms.