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Miss Manners by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Birthday Party Meets Charity Fundraiser

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t mind my in-laws sending group texts when planning holidays or meeting for supper, but they take it a step too far. Twice in the last few months, they have group-texted myself, my husband, my brother-in-law and his wife about the death of family members.

While this to me is disturbing by itself, the kicker is that my husband’s phone is older and doesn’t receive group texts, so it falls on me to relay the message. I have told his parents he is not receiving their messages, but they don’t seem to care. I am ready to take texting off of my phone.

Is this the new norm? Am I out of place for thinking they could relay the message to their two sons by phone?

GENTLE READER: Miss Manners recommends you tell them so in person or over the phone. “You know, Austin doesn’t get your texts, and I don’t feel comfortable relaying sensitive family information secondhand. I wonder if you could call us when something like Nana Mary’s health is in jeopardy. The angel emoji followed by the ‘zzzz’ sign was particularly confusing.”

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics | Death