DEAR MISS MANNERS: We want to visit some old friends, but we don’t want to inconvenience them at all. They are quite elderly, and she, in particular, is very formal. Although we have stayed at their home before, it was several years ago.
How do we invite ourselves to visit them? How far ahead of time should we call or write?
GENTLE READER: Long enough to give them time to plan, but not so long as to make it implausible if they say it is an inconvenient time.
But Miss Manners does not like that part about inviting yourselves. What you should do is to say that you hope to travel to see them, and let them add the part about staying. Or not.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)