DEAR MISS MANNERS: During a conversation regarding table manners, a relative and I disagreed on what to do if one notices a minor infraction, like someone using the wrong fork for the salad course. The relative thought we should all use the wrong fork so as to not make the other diner uncomfortable. I thought one should just pretend not to notice, and continue using the correct fork. What does Miss Manners suggest?
GENTLE READER: That all of you stop monitoring one another’s eating habits.
The person who used the salad fork for the meat course will be just fine using the meat fork for the salad course. And while etiquetteers are popularly believed to be insane on the subject of fork selection, the truth is that Miss Manners would rather indulge in conversation at the dinner table than peer at other people‘s plates.