DEAR MISS MANNERS: If my husband and I go out to dinner with our two adult children, we pay most of the time. The kids always make a point of saying “Thanks, DAD.”
If I cook a meal at home for the family, I may or may not receive a thank-you from these same adult children. What gives, and should I say something about it?
GENTLE READER: It is worth allowing for the possibility that they are saying, “Thanks, Dad” rather than “Thanks, DAD.” The former could be an unthinking habit, perhaps because your husband is the one physically making the payment.
Miss Manners does not therefore approve the status quo. Both parents should be thanked for both activities, although thanks for everyday cooking more often takes the form of a compliment on the results. Teaching your children this lesson does not fall solely to you as their mother, but it does land on either you or your husband.