DEAR MISS MANNERS: My name is Elena, and I am typing this question on behalf of Sasha (my daughter/employer). I will pass on any reply.
Dear Miss Manners: What is the proper way to eat crackers? I want to know, because my brother is an extremely messy cracker eater, and I want to set a good example for him. And this is really difficult, because I am only 6 years old and he is 2, and he eats plums very badly, and also peaches, and any type of fruit.
Thank you for writing the big book called “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior,” because I’ve been reading it.
Love from,
Sasha
GENTLE READER: All of the foods you describe are indeed difficult to eat neatly, each for their own reason. Crackers make crumbs, and peaches and plums often create unsightly juice-covered chins.
For the latter, Miss Manners recommends that you and your brother politely ask your mother/employee to cut the fruit into wedges, rather than attempt to bite into it like an apple. As for crackers, they are best eaten in small bites and not by the fistful, with a napkin or plate placed underneath to catch any falling debris.
Miss Manners would like to add that, having admirably fulfilled her duties as messenger and food preparer, your mother surely deserves a raise. Although having such a conscientious and well-read daughter is presumably reward enough.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)