DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I decided about 20 years ago that we would always send a written thank-you note (through the mail, with a stamp!) to anyone who invited us to their home. I would say that puts us in the minority these days, but hosts seem delighted to receive notes in the mail.
But when the original invitation is sent to a set of email addresses, we often find that after the event, most other guests use the “reply all” function to thank the host. We are then uncertain about whether we should also join in the email chain of thanks, knowing that we’ve already sent a note to the host through the mail.
If we fail to join in on the emailed thanks, does it seem to the other guests that we didn’t appreciate the invitation? But then, why are we sending both a note by mail AND an email thank-you?
GENTLE READER: Why indeed? Is it possible that the others are using “reply all” so that they can put their gratitude on display? And then once publicly lauded, consider their duty done with no further action needed?
Miss Manners dearly hopes that you will remain steadfast in your personal letter writing and not be swayed by the masses. The reward will presumably be the (continued) delight of your hosts, as it should be.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)