DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter has a habit of acknowledging my birthday and other holidays with a text in lieu of a card -- or, preferably, a phone call.
This year, she sent a “Happy Father’s Day” text, which I did not immediately respond to. After several hours, she sent another text. I don’t want to encourage this type of holiday greeting, as I consider it lazy and disrespectful.
I sent her flowers for both Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day, and her acknowledgment came in the form of a thank-you text.
Are we at the point that a text is socially acceptable as a way to say “thank you” for a gift? Do I need to reevaluate how I perceive things? Assuming that it is not an acceptable form of communication, is there a polite way to try to get some sort of upgraded acknowledgment or response?
I’m not particularly happy that I’m writing, and feel like a grouch.
GENTLE READER: If you would like her to communicate, then communicate.
She is your daughter, and it is never too late to parent adult children -- particularly in regard to their behavior toward you.
But treating what she may consider a perfectly acceptable greeting with silence, Miss Manners points out, is actually the larger transgression.
If you do not like the method with which she is communicating, tell her. “Texts feel so impersonal. I would love to hear from you. When is a good time to talk on the telephone?”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)