DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter and her boyfriend have been talking about getting married for a couple of months. They picked a venue that is very convenient for his family and very inconvenient for ours. My daughter does expect us to pay for the wedding, as we have always told her we would.
Here is the issue. They have a “soft hold” on the venue, but he hasn’t given her a ring. They looked at rings about six or eight weeks ago.
This is stressful for me, as we obviously need to make arrangements for this out-of-state wedding. There isn’t any reason not to set a date (e.g., waiting until a new job starts, or until they buy a house).
Would I be out of line to talk to her boyfriend and ask if he is serious or stringing her along? We know and love him, but this is changing my feelings as this stresses out my daughter.
GENTLE READER: Are you concerned that although the couple has chosen a venue for their wedding, the presumed bridegroom may not intend to go through with it?
Or are you just after a diamond ring?
Miss Manners strongly advises you not to make any down payments before you understand the cause of your daughter’s stress and urge her to deal with it. A ring is not necessary, but confidence in the commitment is.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)