DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a severe hearing loss that requires a hearing aid. Although I can hear fairly well when my aid is in use, I can only hear certain ranges.
Some friends and relatives will speak in low tones in my presence when they don’t want me to know what they are saying. Besides the fact that I find this rude when I am right there next to them, I also find it hurtful.
Should I just let this slide whenever it happens, or is there something I can say that may make them aware that this is not kind?
GENTLE READER: Such behavior is reprehensible, but it is also rude to correct another person’s manners. This limits your possible responses, as Miss Manners rejects the idea that one rudeness justifies another. (The mathematical logic behind such a trade ignores the fact that, in her eyes, one plus one equals two rude people -- which is twice as bad as one.)
Patiently ask what was said, as you could not hear it. Tiresome as this will be for you -- and your friends and relatives -- they will eventually avoid the inevitable request to repeat themselves by saving their secrets for later.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)