DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am of the increasingly rare school of thought that sees my pets as companions, not children.
I love them. I care for them. I train them. In exchange, I get the pleasure of their company. I do not expect them to outlive me, as I do my children. I do not expect them to learn to think independently, as I do my children. And I do not expect them to go to college or become self-supporting, as I do my children.
When others refer to their “fur babies” or call themselves “Mom” or “Dad” in relationship to a dog or cat, I cringe a little inside, but say nothing. But when others call me “Mom” regarding my pet, I’d like to have something to say, without being rude, that makes it clear I don’t see the relationship that way.
I am not sure what term to offer instead. I think if I referred to myself as Fido or Fluffy’s “owner,” I would be seen as completely barbaric. Any thoughts?
GENTLE READER: “Guardian.” This gives you a slightly more personal edge, while also being sufficiently removed from a biological declaration. That, or Miss Manners recommends a look of confusion followed by, “Oh! Peeps is my dog, not my child. Brenda is currently away at college.”