DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter will be graduating from high school in June. She has chosen to enter a four-year apprenticeship program for a union trade.
She would like to have a graduation party, and we would like to host one for her. But a friend questioned whether we should be having such a party since she won’t be attending college, and it might be tacky for my daughter to accept monetary gifts from guests since she won’t be using the money at college.
The friend stated that I might want to put something on the invitation about my daughter not attending college. I do not agree with her thinking. I want to have a celebration for her accomplishments throughout high school, and to also commend her on her choice to enter into an apprenticeship program. We are not having the party for the monetary gifts; we are having the party for our relatives and friends to celebrate our daughter’s accomplishments.
Please help me in preparing a response to naysayers who do not support our choice to have a party!!!!
GENTLE READER: Your friend’s logic is admirably inflexible, if entirely appalling: that the purpose of the party is to raise money from your near-and-dear; that your daughter will be earning, not spending, money; and that therefore, the party cannot go forward.
Miss Manners is surprised that your friend did not anticipate the possibility of expenses during the apprenticeship, but perhaps she was also sneering at your daughter’s plans.
The answer to such objections is the one you gave -- the party is a celebration, not a fundraiser -- though Miss Manners wonders how necessary (or possible) it is to convince such a friend.