DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a little conundrum. I currently live in my late parents’ home as the trustee to their estate. My siblings and I are in the process of selling the house, and I will be moving soon. My parents lived in this home for many decades.
My mother received both of her parents’ ashes when they passed, and she buried them in her front yard and made a little handmade headstone. I’m conflicted about moving away and leaving my grandparents there. But I don’t know if this is an etiquette issue or some ancient taboo thing that I would be violating if I chose to dig up their ashes and headstone and take them with me.
None of my siblings seemed to care about doing anything with them when I mentioned it. Is there any protocol I should know about this?
GENTLE READER: Disinterments are not to be done lightly, but you have another problem, which Miss Manners informs you of with the utmost respect: You presumably would prefer to avoid a discussion with the new owners about who is interred on the property.
The good news is that the ashes are likely self-contained, which will make recovering them easier. Although your siblings have not expressed any concern, they, and you, might appreciate a respectful reburial of the ashes somewhere that is less likely to be disturbed.