DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an amazing group of friends and neighbors with whom I love to enjoy outings, parties and events. Depending on the host, venue or situation, the guest list is not always under my control. A lot of these gatherings get posted on social media.
A childhood friend of mine, who knows none of the other ladies, comments on the social media posts that her feelings were hurt that she did not get invited, and that she must not be very much fun.
I’m at a loss as to how to respond. I have told her before that it wasn’t up to me who to invite, it wasn’t my home, or I could only invite very limited guests. This does not seem to stop her from commenting.
She does not live in our area, she does not know any of the other ladies, and it makes me feel terrible. Am I in the wrong?
GENTLE READER: Only for not understanding that your childhood friend is still a child.
It is unfortunate that social media has trashed the rule against advertising parties to those who are not invited. But still, mature people should come to terms with the fact that they are not likely to be included in everything. And in this case, it is especially unrealistic of your friend to pout about not being invited to strangers’ parties.
Miss Manners notes that you have tried to explain this, and can only keep doing so. But you can at least spare yourself doubts.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)